The Changes That Really Matter And
How To Make Them
Not long ago I met up with a friend who I had not seen for a few years. When I knew this friend before, she always seemed to have some kind of problem(s) going on in her life. It seemed that she was in a perpetual state of struggle to keep some part of her life from falling apart.
When I saw her again recently, a lot of changes had occurred. She married again, was working for a different company and had a new house. But one thing had not changed. She was still in a constant struggle to keep her life from falling apart. She spoke with an anxiety in her voice, typical of someone who is not content. Someone who believes that life is one big futile effort.
My friend has come to believe in at least two destructive ideas that she carries always. One is that life is an endless struggle. No matter how hard you work, you are still running into some obstacle. That any success you have hangs by a thread, ready to snap at any moment. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop so to speak.
The second is that she believes there is little or nothing that she can do to change this. She carries this belief system into every situation she encounters.
On the other hand I have another friend who believes that anything we really want to achieve, we can, because everyone is endowed with unlimited, divine potential. She really believes this. So she expects wonderful things to happen. Just about everything this person does is a success because she carries this consciousness of success, and expectation of success into every situation. Though things don’t always go as she expects, that does not stop her. She has come to see through any obstacles. She see them as opportunities to grow and learn. She doesn’t let anything discourage her from moving toward her goal.
These two people live on the same planet! In the same country and even the same city. But they obviously operate on two entirely different belief systems.
One focused on changes in her “inner” life. The other only focused upon changes in her external life. She believes, and still does, that the cause of her failures is “out there” in the world somewhere. It’s the economy, it’s the weather, it’s the government, it’s management, it’s her traumatic childhood. It’s all the brainless people in the world. Everyone and everything is her problem. So all she can do is sigh and keep on trudging through hoping to experience as little pain as possible. She feels her life is a hopeless endeavor.
In my consultations I emphasize the ability for people to make “positive” changes in their lives. The changes that always assure improvement in the quality of your life are the “internal” changes. If you are an unhappy person, your unhappiness is an internal affair. If you are constantly depressed, your depression is an internal affair. If you find your never satisfied with the way things go in your life, your dissatisfaction is an internal affair. Actually, life itself is an internal affair. If you are to permanently raise the quality of your life, any changes you make must begin “within” yourself. Within your consciousness.
So many people, we’ve all been there probably, attempt to find happiness and peace of mind making external changes. Quit a job, marry someone else, move to a new town or even to a new country, buy new things. In most cases the quality of your life is not improved with these external changes. You may find a temporary diversion for awhile, but there is no real satisfaction for long.
That is because the ego mind suggests these external changes in hopes you will be diverted from truly seeking “internal” life changing work. The egoic mind does not want for you to seek internal happiness and internal peace. Because in doing so you discover how the ego has kept you from true happiness and a real sense of peace for most of your life. To obtain this inner peace you must learn to spot when the ego is trying to take charge and how to recognize it and stop it.
Jesus said “In the world you have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). It is interesting to note that he made this statement when he was still living in the world. The process of overcoming the world – that is, of mastering our ego response to the world and our surrounding conditions, is a process that takes place by learning to do it in our everyday lives.
In my Spiritual Directing consultations I use simple but effective practices, homework, to help you see where the ego is stepping in and your soul is remaining ever quite. The purpose is to get in touch with your soul and identify the egoic influences that are interfering with your true happiness.
Picture the scenario, the devil (ego) on your one shoulder, and the angel (your soul) on the other. Which one is in control of your responses to your life’s situations? Which one is influencing your judgment of others? Which one influences your opinion of “yourself”? Beginning to get the point?
It takes practice and patience to identify and change negativity in your world.
Once you’ve begun to identify the ego’s negative reactions, you will begin to understand your soul’s more positive influence on your thoughts. You are an infinite child of God, living in a world of unlimited possibility. In the first letter of John we read “The One who is IN you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). This is an important truth to remember, because the One who is in you is God, and the one who is in the world is your egoic mind. As Jesus reminds us “for God, all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26)
When you go through your day with a positive, affirmative attitude that is grounded in your “spiritual identity”, you will begin to notice changes in the way you deal with life’s events. You will make new choices that keep you on the path of light and life and success.
For more information on my Spiritual Directing and Spiritual Counseling please email me @ beth@risingsonministry.com
Blessings,
Beth
